Attraction love (Epithumia) - (Receives) "puppy love" an infatuation for people and things

Epithumia - a strong desire of any kind. ." It can take either one of two directions: towards virtue and God or towards passion and inordinate attachment. In the negative sense, it is translated "lust." In the positive sense, it is translated "desire" or "love."

When it comes to romantic relationships, this is the emotion that gets people into a lot of trouble. Though a strong desire for one's partner is needed in a marriage relationship, if it is not blended with the other aspects of love, epithumia can easily become selfish and self-centered. When that occurs, epithumia becomes lust rather than healthy desire. 

It’s the kind of love we experience at various stages of our lives. It happens when we don’t want to lose people whom we think we love the most. It’s the kind of love that brings a sense of insecurity in us, forcing us to have, or maintain the relation rather than enjoying it.

Infatuation is…..

·         an emotion. Emotions can’t always be trusted. They will change as circumstances around you change. (For example, when your sick, tired, stressed, fearful, etc.) You are so obsessed with someone you fail to see any faults.

·                 love at first sight–fireworks!–bells! You can be infatuated with someone you have never met, like a movie star, or someone you notice at school. Real love takes time. It’s a growing experience based on shared interest, beliefs, and attitudes. A fantasy that is created in one’s mind based on emotion of how things would be if they were paired with another (often specific) person.

·         may lead to love over time, but it is not love. Infatuation wants to know “What in this for me?” Love says, “What can I do for you? How can I make you a success? How can I meet your needs?”.

·         insecure. Infatuation gets jealous and unreasonable. Infatuation fades with time, separation, or change. You’ve heard it said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, that is only true with real love. Being apart will kill infatuation over time, because it must take to survive. When someone else comes along who has more to give, infatuation will switch its attention from an old flame to a new one.

·         fuelled by passion and lust.

Love and Infatuation are both intense emotions that one feels for another person. These feelings are most often confused for each other by many people. But the two feelings differ in their actuality of love, intensity and final outcome.


Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or love; addictive love. Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of relationship when sexual attraction is central. 

Love can be described as feeling of intense affection for another person. It is most often talked about as an emotion between two persons. Hence is also sometimes referred to as interpersonal love.

Is What I'm Feeling Infatuation or Love?

Red Flag Thoughts: 
“You are my life. I can't live without you.”

There are some feelings we have when infatuated that we don’t have when we’re feeling love. Some of the “symptoms” of infatuation are; feelings of panic, uncertainty, overpowering lust, feverish excitement, impatience, and/or jealously.

When infatuated, we are thrilled, but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. There are lingering, nagging doubts about our “partner in infatuation” and their love for us. We’re miserable when they’re away, almost like we’re not complete unless we’re with them. It’s a rush and it’s intense. It’s difficult to concentrate. And most infatuation relationships have a high degree of sexual charge around them. Somehow being with them is not complete unless it ends in some type of sexual encounter.

Do any of these “symptoms” resemble feelings of love? Hardly. So why do we become infatuated? Where does it come from? Perhaps it’s biological.

When infatuated we experience a surge of dopamine that rushes through the brain causing us to feel good. Norepinephrine flows through the brain stimulating production of adrenaline (pounding heart). Phenylethalimine (found in chocolate) creates a feeling of bliss. Irrational romantic sentiments may be caused by oxytocin, a primary sexual arousal hormone that signals orgasm and feelings of emotional attachment. Together these chemicals sometimes override the brain activity that governs logic.

The body can build up tolerances to these chemicals so it takes more of the substance to get that special feeling of infatuation. People who jump from relationship to relationship may be craving the intoxicating effects of these substances and may be “infatuation junkies”.

When the chemical flood dries up, the relationship either moves into a loving romantic one or there is disillusionment, and the relationship ends. 

Romantic infatuation is almost exclusively based on physical attraction. The person who is infatuated is deprived of judgment and reason. In fact the word infatuation means, "to turn to folly and inspire with foolish passion." Romantic infatuation is something that most people experience at some point, and therefore they have the problem of knowing the difference between love and infatuation.

I would suggest that infatuation and love differ in four main points.

Firstly, romantic infatuation may happen suddenly and without warning, whereas love grows and produces a growing relationship between the couple.

Secondly, romantic infatuation arises from a few characteristics of the other person. The one infatuated knows only a few characteristics of that person and on the basis of those characteristics, which are often connected with physical appearance, they are infatuated. On the other hand, love makes an appraisal of the total personality of the other person. Feelings of love grow out of a maturing relationship with the other person which appraises the whole personality, not merely a few characteristics.

Thirdly, an infatuated person sustains a mental picture of the object of infatuation, a mental image based largely on idealisation. A few characteristics of the person are dwelt upon and a tremendous fantasy picture of the person's whole character is built upon it. The fantasy image will vanish when they learn about the other's faults, weaknesses and sinfulness; whereas one who truly loves another will constantly check their ideas of that person against the growing awareness of their whole character.

Fourthly, an infatuated person tends to have a false sense of security about the romance. It is based upon wishful thinking and there is a compulsive need for reassurance in the relationship, whereas a person who knows true love tends to have a true sense of security in their relationship, based upon a growing trust, affection and mutual concern.

I would therefore advise all young people who feel that they may love someone to give their relationship the test of time and preferably the test of separation. True love between a man and a woman will stand the test of time and separation, whereas infatuation will not stand up to this test. Much watchfulness and prayer are essential.

However, for just a very few infatuation can last for a lifetime. Normally, once a year or two of marriage goes by, we are hit in the face with reality. The fireworks may stop blasting off, but a new type of love takes it's place. A feeling of calmness (in most cases) and someone you can share your inner most feelings with. There is still the laughter, fun with each other, family and friends and always dreams of the future to share with each other. You don't feel alone in the world ... in fact, you feel like you can conquer the world. Then the children come along and sometimes the couple may not have all that much time for each other, but smart couples work at it and take one day out of that week for just themselves. It can be done!

I've seen old people that have been married for over 50 years infatuated with each other. Infatuation doesn't mean just great sex, but a secret inside each other's soul ... again, that calmness, a feeling of almost smugness because the couple has something many people never experience ... loyalty, a new kind of love, honesty and devotion.